December 31, 2002

understand me, nice gay??

sometimes i get in trouble and sometimes i almost get in trouble.

my first day in panama city, actually just a few hours after getting off the night bus, i went to the supermarket, tired and grubby, in ripped jeans because my other pants were dirty. this guy approached me and asked if i was panamian, and i said No. he said, That’s too bad, and i said, Why?

he said, Well, do you want to do some modeling? i said i'd think about it. i asked him where the clothes were made, and he said the french company owned factories in mexico. so i asked him what the conditions were like in the mexican factories where the clothes are made. he didn't understand, or pretended not to ...

he said, Don’t worry, you’ll be treated very well. i said, No no, I’m talking about the workers in the factories. he looked perplexed. i explained how european and american companies exploit workers in poor countries and all the rest of it, and how the conditions in the factories were rough for the workers, and they have to work really long hours. and he said, Oh! Now I get it! Don’t worry, you’ll be treated well, and it’s only a few hours a day! i said i'd think about it.

the next day i ran into him again, and told him no, because i don't really like the whole idea of using your smile and charm to sell things, and also because of the factories. he looked sad but said ok, although he wanted to try to convince me. he wanted to take me out but i declined.

well, the next day, they tell me when i wake up, Someone dropped off a note for you.

it was in english, despite the fact that we had spoken only spanish before.



hi ... good morning, i will like to invite you to eat some, you now, like a cool food in my house (den) and that you will stay like last night* ... rock jeans, t-shirt, no shoes, no u/w**, really, why not. ! you will not participate with our publicity program....ok...! so ...
¿will you please give to me oportunity ot show you panamá & now you better before you leave??? you are special diferent, nice, so nice like a pu.... (you now). ok is it a invitacion....can you call me before mid day?***
i have a new offer for you, not thinking in employee's, ok? ...only on bussinnes! if you want...don't pay more hotel. you cant stay where i live & don't worry! good bread, salad, meats, chicken an bb'q special for you allan! ok, please call me fast.
like Tom C. Brad P. or, it is simple, is true!
welcome to panamá!
will you like to visit island in front panama bay, is it 1 hour from here, also really nice trip! good experience leaving from panamá canal piers under america's bridge! ok it is your personal decision....
you have to know that, i'm not a bad gay****, my only reason is it in the note #2, from this message!
thank you four smile....
god bless allan
i'm sorry --------- ily...!
i will like to take you to colombia, and say goodby over there, not in my country! 11:05 pm thank for read me allan! ok, if you want to make me a question....not and yes, two experience on high scholl, i have a nice family, but now you will like a new sun! ok, don't worry, i will like to be your best friend out usa! ok?? you are special so, i need to give you my true! understand me,
nice gay??
every time, i will remember you, walking inside super market, fresh, nice, with your switt smile like a i.d. presentation! please, remember me & panama!
i hope to receive your call.*****

* i.e., he was _stalking_ me
** how could he know that?
*** i didn't call.
**** simply uncanny
***** too bad!

this one goes in the category of ‘almost’. what if i had accepted?


or worse. oh allen.

Posted by at December 31, 2002 02:34 PM

you know what, the gay offered you salads, bread and bbq. you have no call to be grossed out by this. putting out for salads is the least you can do. and if you stay with me in january then I best not be seeing a blog about how I wanted to share a shower to conserve water and isn't it icky. because it's not. now get over here and take my lettuce, pretty bay.

Posted by: didofoot on January 2, 2003 12:31 PM


oh man....salad is not...that is...oh man...

Posted by: michele on January 2, 2003 02:24 PM

i am a rotten person.

i don't deserve anyone's salad.

kristen if i stay with you in january will you make piggy faces?

Posted by: allen on January 3, 2003 02:21 PM

only if you cook for me. but none of this vegan shit. animals are no friends of mine.

give me a guinea pig steak. make it snappy.

Posted by: didofoot on January 3, 2003 02:53 PM

Ah, what a switt, switt tale...maybe it could hide out on, tho it's really too nice for that. Props to you for
1) not whoring your face out to someone who
2) turned out to be a stalker, escaping intact, and
3) bringing laughter into my work-blunted morning

god bless allan...a new sun!

Posted by: rock jeans, t-shirt, faux u/w on January 8, 2003 12:56 PM

i hadn't read this before putting up my own engrish post today. you've bested me yet again, allen, in a pre-emptive manner.

this is pinche hysterical, by the way.

Posted by: holohan on January 8, 2003 01:18 PM