Emoticon Awkwardly Translated On Telephone
- Emoticonicon provides much-needed feeling to human speech
After 72 consecutive hours logged on to AOL's Instant Messaging Network, and 5 months of communicating with friends and family only through e-mail, Patrick Stein was startled by the sound of his telephone ringing for the first time in recent memory.
"Hello Patrick," said the friendly voice of his mother, "I've been unable to reach you for ages!"
Patrick responded in a rusty monotone, "well mother whose fault is that smiley-face"
"Pat dear," she continued, modulating her voice to provide nuances of expression and emphasis, "Why don't you call us any more?"
"come on mom phones are dumb winky-guy" he responded. "no wait," he added, "make that winky-guy-with-nose"
"I don't understand your funny lingo, honey," she replied, puzzled.
"its the bset i can do to make you understand".
What Patrick meant is that he needed a way to translate the fluent expressiveness of his every day language into the artificial, contrived medium of direct human contact.
"thank god for emoticonicons" he thought to himself.
"Look maybe you could stop by for tea? Your father and I would love to see your face -- in person"
"you know what i look like winky-guy"
"Pat, honey, we want to see your face, your eyes and your expressions."
"look mom i'm either happy sad or winking. sometimes i have a nose. what else do you need? loveya winky-guy"
postmanpat signed off at 15:32.02
disappointedmom hung up.